When it comes to divorce it is the emotional roller coaster that is the hardest part to both experience and manage. One moment you will feel ‘I’ve got this’ only to feel like you are upside down and have no idea where to turn a few moments later. Divorce is a process of change. You […]
Falling in love is fun, exciting and romantic. It is all the things we dream of and romance novels are made of. And of course then there is falling out of love- it is, as we know, just the opposite. The end of a significant relationship will bring with it fear, grief and sadness and […]
These past few years I have spent many hours reading, learning and researching happiness. At first this was to better understand my own wellbeing but later all that work led to me writing the book ‘Happy Lawyer Happy Life’. Unhappiness in my profession is rife. The incidence of mental health problems within the legal profession is […]
Lately I have struggled to listen to world news. I cannot remember a time in my almost 40 years where division, racism and fear have been as strong in our world as they are right now. Living in Australia, I am eternally grateful for so many things, but even here, in a country that is […]
Most people experiencing divorce say they ‘just want it to be over’. What they are really saying is that they want the feelings and emotions to have passed. So if you are thinking of divorce here are 10 things you will need to get you through and out the other side in one piece
It’s been a week of ups and downs for me, and so what better thing to do than write about it. Because sometimes telling yourself to pull your socks up, pick your chin up and keep moving works and other times it doesn’t work as well. I spend my days handing out advice to people […]
It was 1997 when I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. That was almost 20 years ago now. Just saying that makes me realise that was a really long time ago! In 1997 I was living in sunny Brisbane, in a share house in Annerley and studying to be an Interior Designer. Not a […]
This time next week, I’ll be nervously sitting in a Green Room waiting for my turn on stage at the Dancing CEOs gala event. Right now, I am just looking forward to the moment where the event is over (just so I can stop singing the same tune and dancing the same steps in bed […]
Divorce is said to be the second most significant grief event that many of us will ever experience. It’s therefore no surprise that the stress experienced during divorce can at times feel overwhelming. Stress is a normal part of life and sometimes stress is actually a good thing. The right amount of ‘stress’ can give us […]
My dear friend Liz is back with another instalment in her life (post divorce) and this time she is hitting us with her recent dalliance with ‘online dating’ after divorce! I will be upfront with you- I was dating before the days of the ‘online’ world really taking over and I found it hard enough then! The thought of now having […]
The first time I heard the term ‘divorce coach’ I am pretty sure I may have rolled my eyes! But that was a while ago, before I met one and before I had any understanding of what a Divorce Coach really is. It makes sense if you think about it- someone who understands what it […]
‘Leadership’. It is a word that is thrown around workplaces all the time but sometimes with so little thought. I am a leader and there are many days when I wish I could sneak into my office, hide behind my desk and leave all that leadership business to someone else! Because being a leader […]
When I look back on the year that has been 2015 I will remember it for my daily pursuit of ‘happiness’. It’s not that I spent the years prior to 2015 being unhappy- it is just that this year I read, learned, listened and practiced all sorts of things to consciously understand just what being […]
I don’t know about you but it’s Christmas party season for me. This means lots of professional events and lots of fun and catch-ups, but it also tends to mean lots of conversations with people that I don’t know so well. And at each one of these events lately, the conversation seems to go like […]
I expect many of you, like me, have struggled to accept the news that has been all around us these past days. Here in Queensland this week we have seen another two women and a child killed by men who supposedly cared deeply for them. And then when we look back to the beginning of this […]
You know I love a good ‘guest post’ and this week’s is one of my favourites. The Author, Geoff, got in touch with me a few weeks ago in amongst the debate over the notion of ‘being friends’ after divorce. Now I don’t want to reignite the debate (it was a strong one!) and please […]
The ‘D’ word- ‘DIVORCE’- A word that conjures up feelings in us all (and they are generally anything but good feelings). The word is most commonly associated with strong negative emotions of loss, betrayal, guilt, fear and uncertainty. The thing is, when the average person is experiencing divorce, they are suffering immense grief. As human […]
Whether it was watching my parents, learning myself or helping people every day for the past 15 years fall ‘out of love’ I have come to learn a few things about relationships as a divorce lawyer so this week I thought I would share my 3 biggest learnings.
Last year I was sitting at home working with the radio on and I heard a great interview with father Mark Tucker who had recently published a book on his experience of divorce titled ‘Single Father, Better Dad’. Mark was entertaining but real and raw as he described how his divorce had knocked him for six. But he also spoke with pride about the ‘silver linings’ that had come as a result of his separation and the biggest one was the change (for the better) in his role as a Dad. So I may have used a bit of online research to track Mark down and thanks to Google he and I are now email buddies! So when I was looking for men to share their positive stories on divorce I could not go any further than Mark and here are his words written just for us.
Over the past 15 years I have worked with over 2,000 people experiencing divorce. And I can honestly say to you that almost all of them were able to find a place after their divorce where life was ok again. But what does always fascinate me are the people that take all that their divorce brings them, as unwelcome as it was, and turn that on its head as they allow their divorce to change their life for the better.
The wonderful thing about writing is that it means I get to meet lots of beautiful and inspirational people and this was never more true than when I met Naomi. Her story is startling. But the extraordinary thing about Naomi is how she has turned the challenge her separation through at her into a beautiful opportunity. In life we can all choose to see the opportunity in any situation and this week proud single mum Naomi shares her story and her tools for recovery while showing how she is making the most of the opportunity that divorce can bring.
Liz is back with the second of her instalments on surviving divorce! She bravely shares with us one of her ‘silver linings’ after she realised she needed to move ‘back home’. Divorce throws so many curve balls but having the safety and security of good friends and family can never be more valuable than when things are tough.
Before you get too excited this week’s post is not about dating! A dear friend who just happens to be a successful writer and business owner has been putting pen to paper (or perhaps more correctly fingers to the keyboard!) and writing a series of articles for my collection. So, let me introduce you to my friend Liz who has made me really proud over the past months as she has been living the rollercoasters of divorce with style and pride (and many a tear along the way!)
Now I need to be upfront- I love negotiating! It is the part of my job that I really enjoy. And when I am not at work I thoroughly enjoy using my skills on my toddler! Now she is a challenge- but I have learned that if I can out negotiate the toddler I can […]
The feelings experienced during divorce could be compared to riding a rickety old roller coaster- you jump on board (sometimes unwillingly) and feel your life passing by at high speed- up, down and around again. Some days you feel like you are hanging upside down watching the world go past below, while other days it […]
This week’s post is kindly written by a former client and now dear friend who I have the pleasure of meeting a few times a year to share stories, check in and hear where life is taking her! And last week we spoke ‘Dating’! So what is it like when you start dating again after divorce? Well after a great lunch chat I asked my beautiful friend to share her story with all of you as it reminded me of those silver linings that can come after divorce.
As written for and published in I AM WOMAN Magazine 27 November 2014 L.O.V.E- love! A word that brings with it so many wonderful feelings, memories and dreams. And yet a word that can also create so much pain. Falling in love is beautiful, magical and for some, like a fairy tale. It is the […]
Divorce is bad enough without then having to explain to those you love and even those you barely know just what you are going through. Often the most challenging conversation to be had is with your children. So here are 5 things to keep in mind when you are telling your kids, about your separation.
Parenting is full of joys and challenges. Sometimes there is more joy than challenge and then there are those days when there seem to be only challenges to face with little joy. This is the case whether you are parenting together or apart. For parents who find themselves navigating the end of their relationship there can be some […]
Music has such a powerful effect on memory. A song comes on and immediately you can be transported back to another time in your life and it is like it is happening all over again. It is therefore no surprise that music can often be our best friend when it comes to healing a broken heart. I have […]
Almost this time last year Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin hit the front pages of the news with their wacky idea that they were ‘consciously uncoupling’. They were not ‘getting a divorce’ instead they had made a conscious decision to bring their marriage to an end in a positive way. In fact they had untangled their […]
Last week I read a beautiful article titled ’10 Unexpected silver linings of Divorce’ by Carolyn Martin, a mother who has herself experienced divorce. It is a beautiful piece. One line in particular really had me thinking. Carolyn was talking about the reality of being a separated parent and she said- ‘I am their mother […]
I have a belief that life is a journey. That each of us is living in our own ‘choose your own adventure novel’ and that the decisions we make lead us on new adventures. Just like a novel, we never really know what the ending will be and so it is the path, or the […]
Clarissa Rayward, The Happy Family Lawyer, is a Specialist Family Lawyer based in Brisbane, Australia. Clarissa is the Director of boutique Family Law Firm, Brisbane Family Law Centre (BFLC). Brisbane Family Law Centre is a multidisciplinary legal practice offering a holistic service to clients experiencing divorce and separation. An onsite team of specialist family lawyers are […]